Fight the Fear

I came to Kenya for the first time in 2012 for one monthAnd one month only.  At least that is what I thought.

Hahahaha.  Said God.

I was actively competing in triathlons at the time but I didn’t bring my running shoes because I thought it was too unsafe to run in Kenya.  Yes, I had lots of sweeping generalizations about the entire continent of Africa.

Contrary to my anxious thoughts, safety was never a concern.

Fast forward six years later, and I am living in Kenya.  Even though I run freely these days, if I choose to let my mind wander, there is still so much to fear. . .

Failure.

Finances.

Theft.

Insecurity.

Terrorism.

Hospitals.

Cancer.

The past.

The future.

A few weeks ago, a very considerate friend sent me an article about the peanut butter brand in Kenya that I graciously inhale weekly.  It has been recalled due to an increased amount of aflatoxins.  Turns out it’s not Al Shabaab I should be afraid of but its my own jar of peanut butter.

Who knew???

Although life is not as enjoyable in Kenya without my favorite peanut butter, its absence has reminded of a few basic questions.

How much do I have control over anyway?

Very, very little.

Do I really want to walk through life afraid all the time?

No.  Please no.

What do I do to fight the fear?

Learn to trust that the God who turned my life upside in 2012 is the same God who I can trust on a daily basis to protect me from terrorists, peanut butter, and everything in between.

With love and gratitude,

Colleen

*Please consider a monthly or one time donation to support the BEAM Kenya mission to advocate for the emotional, spiritual, and education needs of impoverished children in Kenya*

Imperfectly Seeking Balance

I’ve always been good at the “hard” stuff in life – suffering, depression, addiction, anxiety, poverty, grief, loss – be it my own personal struggles with “hard” or those of others. I find it easy in some ways…comfortable…familiar.

And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.  Because Jesus suffered.  And people suffer.  And the world is full of heartbreak.  And God is so near to the broken hearted.

But I reached a point…I don’t know exactly when…some [Read More…]

End of the Year Giving

Hi BEAM Friends and Family,

Thank you for all your support in 2018 to support the mission of BEAM to advocate for the emotional, spiritual, and educational needs of impoverished children in Kenya.

As the year comes to an end, please consider partnering with us by giving a one-time tax deductible donation or by signing up to be a monthly partner.  We want 2019 to be about healing.  Our desire is to expand access to mental health services, including [Read More…]