Imperfectly Seeking Balance

I’ve always been good at the “hard” stuff in life – suffering, depression, addiction, anxiety, poverty, grief, loss – be it my own personal struggles with “hard” or those of others. I find it easy in some ways…comfortable…familiar.

And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.  Because Jesus suffered.  And people suffer.  And the world is full of heartbreak.  And God is so near to the broken hearted.

But I reached a point…I don’t know exactly when…some time last year…when it became too unhealthy.  There was too much suffering and not enough joy.

So I have been imperfectly seeking more balance in my life in Kenya.  I have searched for ways to bring back parts of myself from my “Pre-Kenya” days.  The parts that bring me joy and life.  For a while I felt dead inside.  The too much hard was killing me.

From 2003-2012 (pre-Kenya), triathlons were a huge part of my life.  I have a fiercely determined, competitive spirit that found a place of release through racing.

When I moved to Kenya in 2013, triathlons naturally fell out of my life.  The mission to serve orphans and vulnerable children was a priority over everything else.  And I wrongly assumed triathlons didn’t exist in Kenya.

A few months ago, I found out about a competition along the coast of Kenya.  I hadn’t ridden a bike or swam in forever.  I only had six weeks to train.  But I knew I had to do it.

On November 25th, I completed my first triathlon in Kenya.  It was symbolic of my two worlds colliding and represents the balanced life I’ve been so desperately seeking.  It felt good and easy and joyful and life giving.  And it was just what I needed to keep going even if the hard still exists and the suffering is still present.

I
Want to
Keep
Going.

I
Must
Keep
Going.

I
Will
Keep
Going.

And I won.  Which made the celebration that much sweeter.  The debate is ongoing about whether I’m still as fast as I was in my 20’s or whether there was no competition.  Regardless, all the glory (and money) goes to our BEAM Kenya social worker who doubles as a professional triathlon coach in her free time 😉  We can’t wait for the next one!

With love and gratitude,

Colleen

*Please consider a monthly or one time donation to support the BEAM Kenya mission to advocate for the emotional, spiritual, and education needs of impoverished children in Kenya*

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Comments

  1. Yesterday I read a thoughtful article about the subject of joy:

    “I think it’s fair to say that many Christians don’t believe God is happy… If we did believe it, wouldn’t we be happier?”

    “It’s a remarkable point delivered to Nehemiah and a people who were ravaged by war, weakened by insecurities, and constantly reminded of their own fragility.

    And this is where we find our strength: for life, for pain, for trials, for marriage, for child-raising, for missions, for everything. The strength we need for this life is found in the essential joy of God.

    You will never be spiritually stronger than your God is happy. God’s joy is our strength. Settle it biblically. God is essentially happy within himself.”

    –I’m not sure if I can insert a link to the article in this comment section, but I’ll try:

    https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-joy-of-the-lord-is-your-strength

  2. Elphas Bengo says:

    Hi Chebet,
    This is quite inspiring. I will share the blog and the nice work you are doing.
    Will keep on keeping on.
    Regards
    Bengo

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